TL;DR version:

Proceed at your own risk (of eye fatigue and extreme boredom).

Ok, here goes! You should know right away that I’m going to write a lot in this recap about smiling and laughing, and about people’s smiles and laughs. There was SO MUCH of both happening! I haven’t done those two things that much in one weekend in … I don’t even know. Maybe never. I’ve definitely never had an experience quite like it, that’s for sure. I shared a smile with each person, and laughed along with each person, at one point or another over the weekend, even if I never had the chance to talk with that person one on one.

I’m going to take the risk of writing, further down in the next post, about each attendee individually. I want to remember the moments I had with each of them, and I recall that last year when the recaps went up, I was dying to know what everyone was like in person. I hope that calling out someone’s lovely smile or warm demeanor or awesome sense of humor doesn’t give the impression that I didn’t feel that same way about everyone else. To a person, the ladies of PJs at TJ’s were welcoming and friendly and smiley and just all-around aces. It was inevitable, though, that I spent more time with some people, like my roommate Brooke (love you, Brooke!), than with others, so I have more memories to share of some people than of others.

Speaking of spending time with people, I’m really glad I decided to 1) stay in the party house; 2) fly in Thursday night. Because of those two decisions, I got to hang out with almost everyone at one point or another. I think I would have missed a lot of interactions if I’d been in a hotel, so for my first time meeting ANYONE from the Internet, it worked out really well. Staying in the house was a bold move on my part, as I think I was the only person staying there who hadn’t met at least one housemate. Make way for the Internet Rando! There’s a wildcard in the mix! But I’m glad it worked out so well … for me, anyway!

I definitely had a case of nerves immediately before the trip, though. What if I got there and no one liked me and I wanted to go hoooooome? What if I got there and I didn’t like anyone and I wanted to go hoooooome? What if I got sick? What if I snored and kept my roommate awake?** I started missing M and Tank before I’d even left, and when we pulled up to the airport dropoff and Tank started to whine, I burst into tears. I started to question whether or not I really wanted to go. While I was tweeting about it, a hilarious autocorrect moment saved me from myself, and I laughed off my nerves and started to get really excited again. I may or may not have had a couple of drinks on the plane, also, for nerve-easing purposes.

Megan and I had similar flight schedules, and Kelly was nice enough to pick us up on Thursday night, with Nicole along as co-pilot. Sky Harbor airport had some construction going on and was downright confusing to get around, but we got sorted and headed out to the Party House. Elise was still up when we got home, and we all talked in the kitchen for a while before turning in. (That was all of us that first night, right? My memories are already starting to get a touch hazy.) The house was really gorgeous, and if the gentleman who rented it to us ever randomly happens upon this post (after all, we’re all only 19 clicks away, right?), I’d like to thank him for allowing us to take over his home for the weekend. It was very comfortable, and it was really nice to be able to go up to my room for a few minutes if I got overwhelmed, or to sit by the pool in the sunshine while I tamped down a feeling of awkwardness, or to hang out on the patio with some other ladies when the combined body heat in the house on Saturday night got to me. The water was too cold for swimming, but I thought the weather was gorgeous, and it was nice to get a break from 30 degree temperatures for a few days.

I slept in a bit on Friday morning (god bless vacations!), and when I got up, I met Lara, Rachael, Diane, and Noemi. We sat around talking for a while in the living room, and Lara let us raid her stash of beauty samples (I chose Lash Cards and to-go packets of brush cleaner). A few people ran some errands, and returned with Sonic ice (the very best!), and Mexican food for lunch. After that, we started to get snacks and drinks and stuff ready for the afternoon mixer. Linnea and Kammah were the next to arrive at the house. After that, it seemed like I blinked and just about everyone was there! The volume rose exponentially, and we could see how the party would flow from that point on: eat snacks, join a conversation, get up to get more snacks, join another conversation, go to the bathroom, plop down somewhere else and talk to some more people. It worked out really well, I thought. On Friday night, we ate cold cut sandwiches and chips, and cookies and candy and crackers and dip, and Pub Cheese Tub #1 made its appearance (and, rapid disappearance). Holy wow is that stuff delicious. You practically had to throw ‘bows to get at it. Puuuuuuub cheeeeeeeese!

At some point on Friday night, I was lying on my back on the rug on the living room floor, and I don’t remember who or what it was, but I found something deeply hilarious. DEEPLY being the key word, because suddenly the laugh moved low into my chest. (Has that ever happened to you? When I’ve experienced it, I’ve usually been lying on my back.) Once second I was laughing like a (somewhat) normal person, and the next second, I was cackling like an 80-year-old who’d had a two-pack-a-day habit since the age of 10. The sound coming out of me barely sounded human, which made me laugh harder, which only made The Laugh worse. Then I got out of breath from laughing so hard, and that added a hideous wheeze to the combination. The other ladies present said I sounded like a duck, or in Lynette’s opinion, like Herbie in Herbie Fully Loaded. Quaaaaaackwheeeeeeezehooooonk. Quaaaaeeeeeezehooonnk!! QUEEEZONK!!! QUEEEEEEZOOOOONKKKK!!!

I swear on all that’s holy, Internet, that’s not my normal laugh, though it appears its reputation will live on. I blame the inversion.

As it got later on Friday night, people started to drift off to bed upstairs, or to head back to their hotels. In the kitchen, Kelly gave the rest of us a review of an unintentionally hilarious and ridiculous romance novel, and hot damn do I wish I had recorded her doing it, because it was absolutely a highlight of the trip for me.

There was more chatting and eating on Saturday morning. I think I went downstairs around 10:30 or so, and it wasn’t too long before a group of ladies headed out for pedicures and such, and the group I was in headed out to Chili’s for lunch. As Brooke mentioned in her recap, we spent some extra time on the road, trying to navigate to the restaurant with another carful of ladies. Brooke and I were chatting along, getting to know each other better, so the time went by quickly, but it really did take us quite a while. I was surprised to see that the rest of the group had waited for us! Anyway, it was a fun lunch with multiple margaritas present. I sat near Lynnette (and sweet Louis), Amanda, Kammah, Noemi, Brooke, and Linnea. Raise your hand if you were also there, because I couldn’t see you from my side of the table. After lunch, Brooke, Linnea, and I went on a quick Target jaunt, then back to the house, where I think all the housemates helped decorate, except for me. Not that I didn’t want to help, it’s just that everywhere I looked, someone was already working on whatever needed to be done. It turned out so cute! Kelly did a great job choosing the decorations (and everything else!), and I was SUPER happy I snagged one of the fans to take to the airport with me. (I felt like I was melting in the security line.) Once the decorations were pretty much done, Brooke and I headed to our room for a nice pre-party snooze.

(Intermission: This is really taking me a while. I don’t know why I’ve RAMBLED ON for 1300 words so for, holy HELL. I guess it’s partly that I’m writing this as much for my own recollection as for anyone [no, really: anyone? Bueller?] else to read. It’s also partly that I need the bloody practice if I’m going to really do this blogging thing. Maybe it’s also because it was my first time meeting Internet friends, so I have a lot of feeeeeelings to process. [”Do you even go to this school?”]. By the time this gets posted, everything will have already been covered in a far more entertaining fashion by the other attendees.)

And we’re back.

So! The Party! Everyone was there in their cute pajamas, and it’s amazing what a dress code (even if it’s elastic waistbands!), some fun decorations, and a Tom Hanks cake will do to set the mood, because while it was very similar to the mixer the night before, it definitely felt much more festive. Plus, people were probably loosened up and felt more comfortable because of the mixer, so, well played, Kelly! There was pizza, and more chips and crackers and dip, and a pudding tower! The snack wall was there, of course, and Pub Cheese Tub #2 was quickly devoured and replaced with Pub Cheese Tub #3. There were little hubs of conversation everywhere you looked, and it was easy to find a place to sit and a group to chat with. There were pockets of nail painting and mud masks and makeup application demos going on. There was even a grab bag of fun beauty stuff! I got an angled brush, which I totally needed! People stayed later than they had on Friday night, and I couldn’t believe how quickly the time passed. It was 10:30 before I knew it, then I blinked and it was 1 am. Even though it was way past my bedtime, I just didn’t want it to end. After yet another truly hilarious conversation, we finally dragged ourselves off to bed.

Brooke and I stayed up giggling for a bit, and I picked up where I’d left off in Rachel Dratch’s book, expecting to drop right off, because did I mention it was THREE EFFING AY-EM? I’m usually asleep by 9:30 or 10! But I did NOT drop right off. For whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep, and I tossed around in bed until probably five or five-thirty. We got up around eight-thirty on Sunday morning to find the house already bustling as people ate breakfast, cleaned up the living room and kitchen, and divided up leftover snacks. Phil brought Penny over, and my heavens people, she is even cuter in person than she is on the Internet. I didn’t think it was possible, but it’s true! Her little voice just killed me, as did watching her play peek-a-boo with Lara and with Laura, or do trust falls into Rachael’s arms. We were all charmed by her. Phil was put to work for both setup and takedown of the whole shebang, so I wanted to say thanks to him for all his help.

Erica, Megan, Kammah, and I all had flights home around the same time, so we shared a cab to the airport. I don’t mind flying; in fact, I used to really love it before it got to be such a pain in the ass. My thing about flying, though, is that I get really nervous about getting to the airport on time. I don’t go overboard and get there three hours ahead or anything, but I like some buffer time. Anyway, the cabbie was supposed to call me when he got there, but when he was 15 minutes late, I was anxious. Then someone came in the front door and mentioned that a cab was there, and I got super flustered and FORGOT MY KINDLE that was charging on the kitchen counter (because I had worn the battery out when I couldn’t sleep). Derp.

I’m even “cool story, bro”-ing myself over that last paragraph, because wow, boring. I felt dumb about leaving the kindle behind, though.

ANYWAY. I need to cut this off now, or I will possibly never publish it. Next up, another wall of text about how much I loved meeting these women.

* Sorry about the title, Kelly! You know I have a sickness.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Umm. I tried Paleo for a minute? It worked pretty well, but then my doctor had me try a really strict detox diet and that completely sucked my will to live, so I dropped it all and proceeded to gain back all the weight I’d lost on Paleo (15 pounds), plus more! Whoo!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t think I made any, except to lose weight, and SURPRISE! I gained weight instead. 2013 will be the year of (starting and) maintaining healthy eating and exercising (again).

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several of my co-workers (well, mostly their wives), and lots of Internet ladies!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, and for that I am very thankful.

5. What countries did you visit?

None countries. Boo. I mean, that’s usually the case, but still.

If I’m not mistaken, the only traveling we did this year was to Montana for Matt’s family reunion. It was in a cabin. With 17 people. Including 7 children, ages 2 months to 10 years. It was a SCENE.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

More ambition and energy. Better physical conditioning. A house.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Nothing really comes to mind. My birthday was tough for me this year (existential crisis, yay!).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting into the groove at my new job. I hadn’t changed jobs in about eleven years, and I had forgotten how long it takes to feel like you’ve mastered things at a new place.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Eating well, exercising, losing weight. (Sensing a theme yet?) Blogging/writing, and I really want to try harder with that, and not care who might be reading. I mean, to a point, anyway.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had some weird health troubles at the beginning of the year. Paleo, and then the detox diet, were supposed to help those issues, and I think they really did, so I’m looking forward to that aspect of trying again. I need to feel better than I do. Also, I’ve had random troubles with my feet, knees, and lower back intermittently.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Our barbecue. Smashbox’s BB cream and these are runners-up.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills! (I saw what you did there, Tara!)

13. What did you get really excited about?

The election results. I … think maybe I should have gotten out more and done more fun things, because I legit can’t think of anything else.

The thing I was most disappointed about was not getting to go to PJs@TJ’s.

14. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Call Me Maybe, because of course; Bright Lights, Bigger City by Cee Lo; This Party Took a Turn for the Douche, by Garfunkel and Oates.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Mostly happier. 2012 was a breath of fresh air in a lot of ways, especially at work.
– thinner or fatter? Asked and answered, I believe.
– richer or poorer? Richer, and I’m not gonna front: this is partly because I curbed my shopping habits quite a bit. We also didn’t go to any concerts or really take any trips. Maybe that explains #13.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

All together, now: eating well, exercising, losing weight! I am even boring myself with this one. I also wish I’d kept in better touch with friends. If I don’t talk to you on IM or Twitter, I’m probably not talking to you much at all, because I suck like that. I need to change that this coming year.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sitting on my ass, eating junk food.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

I was sick for most of the time I had off work. I started feeling gross on the 22nd, and missed most of the festivities we were supposed to attend. I had a sore throat and chest congestion, and this past Saturday night, I found myself in possession of a sweet auto-tuned-robot voice for a little while. I’m on the mend now, though.

For New Year’s Eve, we’re ordering pizza and drinking champagne. Well, I am, at least. We’ll probably watch The Avengers, which I haven’t seen yet.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

HOMELAND!!! Game of Thrones! We also watched The Wire and The Sopranos from start to finish. There was a lot of TV watching in 2012, frankly.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

Unbroken was really, really good, and the story is simply incredible. But the one that I read straight through, starting at 8 pm and finishing at 2 am, on a WEEKNIGHT? Yeah, that would be Bared to You. UH HUH, I SAID IT.

I really didn’t read enough this year, though, and I would like to change that in 2013.

21. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Probably Ellie Goulding.

22. What were your favorite movies of the year?

The only two I saw in the theater: Hunger Games, and Ted. I’ve loved a lot of 2011 movies since we recently got HBO and Showtime.

23. Did you fall in love in 2012?

Over and over!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope, same group of fools!

25. What did you want and get?

Oh, lots of things. I said I curbed my shopping; I didn’t say I stopped entirely!

A job I love, although I actually started it last December.

26. What did you want and not get?

A trip to Hawaii.

27. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“We’re not young.” – fun.

(Edited to add: Yep, I wrote the lyric wrong. The fun. song will always remind me of 2012 (as will Some Nights), but THIS is what sums up my year.

Fast forward about a year from the end of this story.

It was now my senior year of high school. My dad had passed away two days before the end of my junior year, and times were kind of tough. My grandparents had co-signed on a car loan with me, and it was my first experience making car payments and paying for gas, insurance, and maintenance. I needed a job.

I applied first to Barnes & Noble. It was still warm outside, so it must have been late September or early October. I remember the outfit I wore to that interview, too: teal shorts that, in retrospect, were too short for the occasion; a white, ribbed, long-sleeved, scoop-necked shirt; white socks, and brown shoes. I remember telling the guy who interviewed me that working at a bookstore was my dream job. (Not my dream career, mind you, just my dream job. I don’t believe I made the distinction clear to him, however.) I think I waited a couple weeks for him to get back to me, and then figured I’d better line up some other options, so I applied to a local music store called The Wherehouse. I don’t remember anything about that interview at all, but I got the job! When the guy from B&N finally called me back and I told him I’d accepted another position, he was dumbfounded. “I thought you said this was your dream job!” he said. Yes, well. Car payments do not wait for dream jobs to come through.

I started working at The Wherehouse in late November, just in time for the Christmas rush. The store was half music retail, half movie rental, and I LOVED IT. My pop culture superpower is knowing which actors were in which movie, and The Wherehouse is where it started. I watched a ton of movies and was introduced to a slew of new music. Even the movies I never watched, I ended up knowing who starred in them and what the plot summaries were, just from handling them so much. Ever since, this has led to conversations like the following:

Person: Hey, you know that movie, Something SomeMumble?
Me: Oh, you mean Something Something? About Some Plotline, with actor X and actress Y?
Person: Yeah, that’s it! Wasn’t that movie great?
Me: I don’t know, I’ve never seen it.

Not obnoxious at all.

As for the in-store music, occasionally we played titles way too much, or they were just plain not my taste. The Eagles’ “Hell Freezes Over” came out while I worked there, and we played it in the store so often, it was a good 10 years before I could stand to listen to it again (with the noted exception of “Hotel California.” I never got sick of that one.). Alanis Morrisette’s “Jagged Little Pill” came out around that time, too, and I was not a fan; I used to stash the CD behind the player in hopes that no one would find it until my shift was over. While I worked there, Michael Jackson’s “HIStory” and the Beatles’ boxed set were also released, the Oklahoma City bombing occurred, and Easy E and Tupac Shakur passed away. (Although, I like to persist in believing that Tupac is alive and well, in hiding somewhere.)

Employees got first crack at the CDs people sold back to the store, although they were usually trying to sell us the same overplayed or underwhelming albums again and again. The used CD shelves were clogged with Blind Melon, Guns ‘N’ Roses’ “Use Your Illusion (I and II)” and “The Spaghetti Incident,” and P.M. Dawn; there were others, of course, but all these years later, those are the ones I remember the most. Eventually we just refused to buy those titles from people. I always secretly felt bad for those artists, even while I snickered at them.

At first, my main duties were to stock the shelves, re-alphabetize CDs as necessary, place extra stock in the special compartments under the shelves, and wander around asking customers if they needed assistance and answering their questions. (Example: “You know that song, by that girl? And it has the word ‘love’ in it?” Yeeeahhh. Keep in mind that this was pre-internet, as well. THERE WAS NO GOOGLE TO ASK, PEOPLE. I used to call radio stations and have the customer hum whatever portion of the song they might remember. Sometimes it worked!) The shelves on the music side of the store were made of wire, with cascading sections for the CDs, which were snapped into anti-theft plastic cases with long sides, so they stood up in the shelves. Do they still use these? I haven’t been to a store that sells CDs in a long time.

I used to go home with tender palms from using a little doohickey to unlock the plastic holders, and sore feet from standing for so many hours in a row. People used credit cards, but I don’t think we had widespread debit card use back then. (Am ancient.) Sometimes when people’s cards were declined, we had to call the credit card company. I don’t really see this happen in stores anymore. I wonder what changed; computers and the internet, probably. If the credit card company told you to confiscate the card, cut it in half, and mail it to them, they’d send you a check for $50. This happened to me once; I felt terrible when I took the guy’s card, then stoked when the check arrived.

On breaks, I’d hang out in the stockroom at the back of the store, watching advance promo copies of movies coming to video. Employees got to take home the promo CDs after a certain amount of time, and between those, my employee discount, and super-cheap used CDs, my music collection grew exponentially. I went to a lot of concerts during this time in my life, too.

When I first started at The Wherehouse, we sold a small assortment of cassette tapes. CASSETTE TAPES, including singles. Remember those? Wow. Eventually we got a small section of items like T-shirts, posters, and candy. I ate Sour Jacks like they were a major food group. I liked to set and take down the weekly sale, pulling sale price stickers off the old items and applying them to the new, and arranging end caps and other displays.

I loved the work, the perks, and my fellow employees. More on that next time.

(Oops, I accidentally posted this earlier, but I wasn’t done!)

Wedding planning continues apace up in here (where “here” = my brain + a ridiculous Excel spreadsheet). It’s still in the research phase at this point; no deposits have been made yet, aside from my dress, which is in! They said it wouldn’t be in until September, so I’m really surprised and excited to see it. I’m also going to take a look at bridesmaids dresses when I pick it up. I have a dress in mind, which I hope will be as cute in person as it is on the website. Oh, and I’ve asked two of my best friends to be my bridesmaids, and they both said yes!

As I mentioned last time, I asked Twitter for advice on how to plan a wedding for under $10,000 without eloping. Based on past research, I wasn’t sure it could be done easily, despite the fact that ten grand is a hefty chunk o’ cash. Here are Twitter’s suggestions, and my personal response to each in the context of my wedding. Everyone’s individual weddings sound lovely, and I have had so much fun hearing about them and looking at pictures. I’ve planned this particular wedding out three separate ways, IN DETAIL, using several people’s ideas. I think every idea mentioned is valid; I just had to decide whether or not I thought it would work for me and M.

Idea #1: Elope. I’m not gonna lie, elopement has frequently sounded like the most attractive option! I have seriously considered taking off to a gorgeous resort somewhere tropical, getting hitched, and rolling right on into the honeymoon. We’d save a lot of money, time, and stress. However, while the idea of exchanging vows alone is romantic, the thought of getting ready all by myself, without my mom or my friends, makes me want to cry. I want my closest people with me on my wedding day, and I want to celebrate it with as many more of them as I can. In other words, I think we’d still end up having some kind of reception, and between that and wanting people with me on the day itself, this option isn’t the one for us.

Idea #2: Destination wedding. This one has been at the top of my list. I would LOVE to get married in Hawaii, and A’Dell was awesome and sweet enough to send me a lot of details about her (beautiful!!) wedding in Maui. This was one of the three options I planned out in detail. I love that it combines the wedding/honeymoon, I have ties to Hawaii, Matt’s never been there, and it would be so much fun to have a small wedding in paradise with my nearest and dearest … but it’s a lot to ask of them, too. It would be especially tough on some members of our immediate family, who have small children and not a ton of disposable income right now. Plus, once I crunched the numbers, the wedding I wanted in Maui, with as few as 20 guests, was going to cost me and M an amount only a couple thousand dollars less than it would to have it here with over 100 people. I also looked at Vegas as a destination wedding; I found a site that offered an entire ceremony/reception package for 50 people, for $5000. I really, really wanted that to work, but the more I investigated it, the less I thought I would have been quite happy with it. Plus, the package was only available for weekdays, and although Vegas isn’t terribly far from SLC, people would have to take off work to attend. That’s one thing when you’re getting married in Maui, but it seemed a little weird to me for Vegas. (Really, the whole thing fell apart when I realized that the lesbian Korean Elvis impersonator that Kammah mentioned, Elvis Herselvis, has essentially retired.)

Idea #3: Small guest list. Quite a few people on Twitter went this route, and most of them seemed to have had thirty or fewer guests. This allows for smaller venues and catering needs, but leaves larger costs like photography. For us, this would be really tough to pull off UNLESS it was a destination wedding. We’d hit thirty people on the guest list just with immediate family, most of it his. Since I’d been an only child for so long, I’ve elevated some of my best friends to the sibling status, and I’d be really sad not to celebrate with them. (See idea #1.)

Idea #4: Enlist your friends and family. This was by far the most popular suggestion. Lots of people on Twitter mentioned friends who did photography, catering, cake baking, flowers, hair and makeup, invitations, and other things I’m probably forgetting. I joked on Twitter that I needed more talented friends, but of course I was only kidding. My friends are incredible and talented in myriad ways; unfortunately for me in this particular situation, few of their many talents lie in the wedding arena. I have a friend who is an amazing graphic designer, and I will likely ask for her help with a few things. She’s one of the busiest people I know, though, and I feel bad adding to her plate. She would be a spectacular photographer, too, but I want her as a guest at the wedding, not working during it. My mom will probably make my veil and my ring bearer pillow, and I have a family member in mind to act as the officiant. Beyond that, I’m out! I don’t know any budding caterers, bakers, etc. I do expect to enlist the help of some of my girlfriends for a couple DIY efforts, though. Speaking of which …

Idea #5: Do it yourself. This is an area where I think you need to be a bit careful, because a DIY project can turn on you and end up costing more than it would have to enlist a professional in the first place. BUT, chosen well, a DIY project can also be a money-saving godsend! I’m definitely going to look into printing my own invitations, and programs and menus (if we have them). I don’t dare do my own hair or makeup, but I would consider doing my own bouquets and centerpieces, and I am going to make some decorations. The reception site I have in mind lets you do whatever you want for catering, and I thought about providing our own food for an app-heavy or buffet-style reception, but I think the logistics are beyond me. I don’t have good options for storing or transporting cold or frozen foods, or for keeping things cold or hot at the reception. I don’t have serving plates or utensils. I could check into rental equipment, I suppose. Food is usually such a large component of the wedding, and I think it would stress me out beyond belief to try to deal with it on the day. It’s still up for research/discussion, though.

Idea #6: Get hooked up with a location. See Mama Bub’s comment below, about using someone’s backyard as the ceremony/reception site. I would do this in a heartbeat if a) I knew someone with a suitable backyard; and b) I wasn’t planning a winter wedding. I’ve also wracked my brain for connections to warehouse space, barns, people who own restaurants, etc., but I can’t think of anything. Mama Bub is absolutely right; the venue is likely to be the single most expensive item in the wedding budget, followed by food/drink, and photography.

Idea #7: Figure out what’s most important to you, and cut out/cut down on the rest. Every couple has different priorities. For some (brides) it might be a designer dress; others might have their hearts set on elaborate cakes, or live music, or gorgeous invitations. Some want a huge bridal party, others a huge guest list. It’s been really interesting to me so far to see what I do and don’t care about most. For instance, it turns out I have my heart set on giving out favors, but I’m probably going to forego RSVP cards/envelopes and have people RSVP online. I don’t care about having a limo, but I want a photobooth. I think I’ve found enough areas where I’m comfortable scrimping, to offset the areas where I want to splash out.

I think that just about covers everything I heard out there. Here’s a question I haven’t yet seen addressed, though: is it appropriate to haggle with vendors? If so, when is this applicable, and how should it be handled?

Many thanks to all who have given advice! Keep it coming!

If you follow me on Twitter or (certain parts of) Facebook, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been talking about wedding planning lately. I’m not *officially* engaged; M hasn’t done the down-on-one-knee-with-a-ring thing yet. However, we had a very sweet and romantic conversation a few months ago about what we both want: to get married, buy a house, and have a kid. We’d both known this for a long time (well, I wasn’t sure about the kid part, but he was), but hadn’t expressed it to each other. Since then, we’ve been talking casually about our wedding, or “when we get married…” or “we should go THERE on the honeymoon!,” etc. It’s become an item of conversation.

I should also note that we’ve been together a long, long time. We met at 18 and 22, and were together for seven years. We broke up and were apart for four years, but still talked and hung out occasionally. We’ve been back together, living together, for a year and a half now.

On the baby tip, I am not getting any younger, y’all. We need to get this show on the road. I would like to have the wedding before I get pregnant, though, for all the vain and shallow reasons one might think.

So, this all adds up to us setting a date (we had agreed on February 16, but PJs@TJ’s is in February! We might have to move it to March!), and me falling down the wedding planning rabbit hole. I surfaced again after about two days, with the entire thing pretty much planned (in my head). I have yet to share these plans with M, but I think he’ll be fine with them. We automatically agree on most things.

I’ve ordered my dress, and I’m going to tour the reception site next week. M can “surprise” me with a ring and a proposal whenever he’s ready. He gets to plan the honeymoon, too.

I got a lot of great wedding planning suggestions on Twitter, which I’ll share next time, as I know of a few more Internet Ladies who are planning weddings. SQUEE!