How to Start a Friday

Wake up early.

Congratulate yourself, as you are most decidedly Not a Morning Person. Contemplate the possibility of actually getting to the office BEFORE YOUR BOSS. Reign yourself in; you are flying dangerously close to the sun with this idea. Settle for “earlier than any other day in the past three weeks (and THAT day was only because the car was in the shop and you had to get a ride).”

Make a passable attempt at getting ready; resist the urge to use extra time for primping. Today is about being punctual. Walk out the door a good 30 minutes early, WITH your coffee for once. Congratulate yourself again.

Upon getting in your car, realize immediately that you are completely out of gas. Curse yourself for being too lazy to fill up last night on the way home from work. Fortunately, there is a gas station at the end of your block. Console yourself; it won’t take too long. You’ll still be respectably early!

Decide that while you’re filling up, you might as well go into the store and grab a breakfast-y snack. Lock the car. Walk to the other side of the car, try to open the hatch to the gas tank, realize (AGAIN) that it won’t open when the car is locked (seriously, you’ve had this car for two and a half years. how do you not remember this??). Walk back to driver’s side door to unlock, because the remote entry button on your key is broken. Berate self (AGAIN) for not going to the dealership yet to have it fixed (yes, this is your only option.). Unlock door, walk back to the other side, open gas tank hatch. Swipe card. “Card not read.” Swipe again. “Card not read.” Swipe again, WITH FERVOR. “Card not read. See cashier.”

Draw a deep breath. Try not to picture a clock with rapidly spinning hands, sand pouring through an hourglass, etc. Go inside. You’re starting to feel rushed now; snacks aren’t important. Prepay for gas, walk back to car. Realize that you left the car unlocked when you went into the store, with your purse, laptop, and phone inside. Wonder, briefly, what is wrong with you. Decide snacks really are in order. You’re just standing there while the tank fills up, anyway.

LOCK car this time. Go back inside, survey snack options. Choose a Krispy Kreme to drown your frustrations. Definitely don’t get TWO of them. (Ahem.)

Begin the drive to work. Deal with slowest traffic of the week. Check the time as you pull into the parking lot; you are basically arriving at your earliest “normal” time. Forget to log into group chat, so you appear ten minutes later than you actually were.

Et voilà!

 

 

 

Bon (H)iver

I hate coats.

Well, that’s not totally true. I hate having to deal with my coat when it’s not on my body. I absolutely can’t stand to wear a coat while driving, so I end up wearing it in 30 second intervals while I walk to my car, or from it. This is especially stupid when I go somewhere like the store. Coat goes on for 30 seconds for the walk down the stairs to the car, comes off while I drive to the store, goes on again for 30 seconds while I walk into the store, comes off again while I’m IN the store (and that is ANOTHER thing I hate: do I hold the coat? Put it in the cart? Neither option is appealing.), goes on again for 30 seconds across the parking lot, comes off for driving home, and goes on again for the 30-second walk to the apartment. It is RIDICULOUS, so what ends up happening is that I carry my coat, clutched across my front for protection, and never actually put it on.

Please tell me that you have at least one quirk that makes your life harder, too.

Speaking of making life harder: winter just generally sucks. Everything is a bigger pain in the ass in the snow: driving, grocery shopping, WALKING, etc.. We’ve been blessed with a pretty mild winter this year, and I realized the other day that I haven’t once asked myself why I live here, which usually happens once a day from January through March. Of course, weather patterns are such that we’ll likely have a hell of a winter next year. Fortunately, I’ve devised a set of Winter Survival Tools (ymmv):

  • Covered parking, both at home and at work. I currently have neither, and hot damn, do I hate scraping snow and ice from my windshield and windows. We’re moving soon, though, so I’m hoping that both M and I will have covered parking (preferably a garage) wherever we end up. I won’t have it at work, though, unless Workplace (h/t: Sundry) decides to move again, AND chooses a building with covered parking, and strangely enough, there aren’t many office buildings here that have it.
  • Remote car starter. I have this, and it has honestly improved my quality of life. Since I don’t have a garage, I used to have to walk out the door ten minutes before I needed to leave in the morning so that I could start the car and sit in it, shivering violently, while it warmed up enough to drive. Either that, or I could go back inside and run the risk of having the car stolen, which is a pretty big risk at an apartment complex, even a quiet one like mine. The remote starter is also awesome in the summer, so that I don’t have to sweat to death waiting for the A/C to get cranking. It gets hot in the desert, you know.
  • Studded snow tires (check, but I will need a new set for next winter)
  • A vehicle with AWD, and heated seats (check, and please let it be running and happy next winter – one never knows with cars.)
  • Being in shape for, and able to afford, at least one day of skiing per month. It’s a crime to live in a place that has “the best snow on earth,” yet go the entire winter without getting up a lift, as has been the case with me the past FOUR winters.
  • Going snow-shoeing, sledding, and MAAAAYBE even cross-country skiing. Having fun in the snow on occasion makes living through it the rest of the time more bearable. However, I can’t speak to whether or not cross-country skiing is actually FUN, and not just brutal exercise. I haven’t tried it yet.
  • A mid-winter trip to somewhere warm and sunny. I’ve noticed that I’ve been so much happier this winter than usual, because the sun shines often and it’s not bitterly cold, and we don’t have the disgusting inversion that usually plagues us. (If you’re not familiar with inversion, check this out, and be sure to picture me huddled somewhere down in the gunk, sobbing miserably.) During a normal winter, I will reliably have either a short vacation (mid-February is perfect for this), or a psychotic break. (Kidding. Kind of.)

Anyone have a Winter Survival Tool to add?

Elevenses*

I’ve been wanting to start a blog for over six years now. I think it’s fitting that my first post is actually a meme. It really captures my inherent laziness.

This one has popped up in quite a few blogs I read, including Holly’s and Sarah’s.

 

1. Two shows you watch every week: Only two?? Yikes, that’s hard to narrow down; we watch a LOT of stuff. Two that I’m really mad if I miss are Modern Family and 30 Rock.

2. Top three places on your must-visit list: Domestic: Boston, Chicago, Washington D.C.  International: Greece, Spain, Japan (specifically Tokyo).

3. Current favorite decorating color combo: I’ve been stuck on black, white, and red, with other bright colors thrown in, for years now. We’ll see what happens when we buy a house/new furniture (don’t hold your breath on that one).

4. Do you use the snooze button on your alarm? I use my phone, not an alarm clock, but oh yes. YES TO THE SNOOZE.

5. Oldest, middle, or youngest: I’m the one and only, baby! (Same as both Holly and Sarah! Onlies represent!) I have two stepbrothers now, though, since my mom remarried seven or so years ago.

6. Do you collect anything? Do bags, shoes, and makeup count? Then, no.

7. What is your middle name? Mahina (Ma-hee-nuh). It’s the Hawaiian word for moon. I was born on the Big Island, and the night I was born, there was a full moon and an erupting volcano. My tattoo is a depiction of it.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up? A veterinarian, then a writer, then something in international communications (while writing my best-seller on the side, natch.). Instead, I work in IT. Go figure!

9a. Are you city or country? A little of both. The older I get, the harder time I have with crowds and traffic, though.

9b. Tomboy or girly girl? Ridiculously girly, although I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.

9c. Talker or listener? I’m a good listener, and I can get people to chat pretty easily. On the other hand, I can definitely talk up a storm!

10. Fancy label for your decorating style? IKEA. (What? It’s Swedish. International = fancy.)

11a. What would your friends and family say is your best quality? Hmm. Maybe my sense of humor?

11b. Your worst? My temper. I’m generally a pretty laid-back person, but when I do get mad, I go “Red Ross.” Also, I get HANGRY. If my blood sugar is too low, look out!

 

*With apologies to Bilbo Baggins for misappropriating the term.